DIY: How To Blow the Door Off Your Microwave

Seriously.

Well... I didn't really blow the door off my microwave, but I blasted that bad boy wide open in mid-cook.

I decided yesterday I was going to do some deep cleaning... organize the garage, clean the oven, and clean the microwave.

I had the organizing part down pat but I needed some help with the oven and microwave.

First the oven:

Mix baking soda and water in to a paste and slather it on the oven glass. Leave for 20 minutes. Wipe clean.

Easy peasy.

Next, the microwave:

Mix one cup vinegar and one cup water in glass measuring dish and place in microwave for 10 minutes.

Easy again, right?

No.

no, no, no

Our microwave is very powerful. It's like the Maserati of microwaves. Knowing this, I only put my concoction in for five minutes.

After five minutes, I busted out my wet rag and started wiping.

Nothing happened.

K... I didn't leave it in long enough.

No prob.

Another five minutes should do.

So I press start and head upstairs to use the facilities.

Then I hear...

kaPOW!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE FLUCK WAS THAT!?

I run downstairs and the microwave door is wide open and it the smell of vinegar has infiltrated the entire room.

So here's the scene...

(Microwave is above the stove)

Oven door is wide open with my baking soda concoction doing it's magic...

All of my glass and metal baking dishes are sitting on top of the stove...

Microwave door is wide open...

Measuring cup in the microwave has about a half-cup of liquid inside...

And there is vinegar water EVERYWHERE!

In my dishes, pans, on the stove, in the oven, on the counter tops, on the floor... hell it was probably on the ceiling and I just forgot to look.

I call Tyson and say:

"Hey, I just blew the door off the microwave."

He hung up on me and was in the kitchen in about 5 seconds.

Oh and he was in a meeting so he brought Matt, our tool guy in to see the destruction.

Let's just say he was relieved to see the door was still attached to the microwave.

So here I am thinking...

"Only me. Only I can blow the door off a microwave."

nope.

This happens to other people, too.

Then Matt tells me...

"My friend's fiance put a package of meat wrapped in aluminum foil in the microwave and blew a hole in it the size of a grapefruit."

BAHAHA!

Wish I could have seen that!

So beware... what looks so easy basically turned in to a bigger mess than I had before.

Oh and the crap in the microwave didn't come off.

But the oven glass cleaning concoction did work pretty well. I give it an 8.

Happy Thursday, Lovelies.

Target Haul/Rant

BAHAHAHA!

I say this to Tyson all the time. He believes it!

So today I needed some last minute items before we leave tomorrow for Mallory and Seth's wedding.

-Nail Polish Base Coat

-Mouthwash

-Nail Polish Brush

-Just For Men (haha)

easy right?

Oh and before I walked in the door I knew I needed to get a Grande Iced Green Tea with a splash of Raspberry syrup from Starbuck's to help me find these four items.

(Delicious, healthy-ish, awesome summer drink... $2.10!)

So off we go! First I hit the Dollar Rack... you know that amazing little section right when you walk in the door?

I got two of these suckers:

and two of these guys:

but mine is four sections... so it's awesomer

Then I got this cute lil nugget:

Who doesn't need a hot pink piggy bank?

I got one of these:

But mine only has four shelves and it's grey.

So it's not really like this one at all.

Oh and I got 3 rolls of wrapping paper that are just adorable.

DOLLAR FOR ALL THAT SHIZ.

'Cept the shelf, that was two-fitty.

Then I accidentally found myself in the Women's Accessory section.

That was on the list, right?

All I remember was seeing a red CLEARANCE sign and the rest is history.

I got:

Cute Ass Clutch

aka

Xhilaration® Natural Croco Facile Crossbody

Perfect for lugging all of mine and Mallory's crap around on her wedding day.

$16.99

NOT

I got this baby for $11.88

Scarf/Bikini Cover Up

aka

Converse One Star Kristine Tye-Dye Scarf - Pink

$14.99 NO how about $7.48

Layin' Out Hat

aka

 Mossimo Supply Co. Tan Shine Floppy Hat

$14.99 wrongo I got her for $10.48

Now it's time to get the stuff on my list, right?

So there I am, wandering through Tarjay trying to stay focused and I cross this nice old ladies' path...

and she tells me...

"OH MY GOD LOOK HOW CUTE YOUR HAIR IS!"

and I reply

"Thanks!!!"

and she says

"I just love those hair-pieces. They are soooo fun!!!"

WHAAAAAAAAAT!?!?!?!

HAIR PIECE?

Me being... well... me... says

"Oh this isn't a hair piece, this is my real hair!!"

Jeezus. That is just an insult.

She sayin' I ain't got enough hair to rock this toddler hair-do!?

anyways...

Finally made it to the Personal Care section

Got some Just For Men

Tyson has like 15 grey hairs.

Whatever.

Then I got this stuff:

Does anyone use this stuff? I found out about it from Megan @ Ciao Bella XO

Her teeth are really white so I hope it works for me, too.

Had a coupon so I got the big bottle for $4.13. Wahoo!

So after watching my Chinese nail lady do my "white-tip" mani/pedi a million times, I think I can do my own nails. They do the base coat, then slop some white polish on the tip of my nail, then they dip a little paint brush in some remover and clean it up. Then the top coat of course.

Elf

it was a dillar.

($1.00)

 Oh and I needed some concealer.

Elf again.

Another dillar.

Finally, I got the last thing on my list:

Base coat

My nails chip like crazy. Pizzes me off. Hopefully this helps.

So I was technically done.

NOT

One last thing.

I'm making this "Wedding Survival Kit" for Mal's wedding and I heard that chalk helps cover any little stains that might appear on her wedding dress.

So I gotta find some chalk.

Back to School section... NONE

okay...

Art Section...

okay...

Crayola...

Crayola...

looking for Crayola brand Chalk.

no Crayola brand chalk.

only RoseArt.

WHAT THE F*CK.

I will be 25 years old next month and I STILL don't like RoseArt brand school/art supplies.

I didn't like them when I was 7.

Don't like them now.

So I got some effin' RoseArt chalk.

mother f*ckers

So what would have been a simple Target run turned in to a pretty badass shopping spree. I might have been in there for 2 hours... or more.

Target, you are sneaky!

I consider myself a pretty thrifty person. If something isn't on sale, I won't buy it. (Unless it's something I desperately need.) I always scan the fliers in the Sunday newspaper for weekly deals, specials, and coupons.

Here's a little story...

About two weeks ago I got my happy ass out of bed at about 7am on a Saturday so I could get to Michael's and score 20% off my total purchase before my coupon expired. Well afterwards, I hit up Target about 15 minutes after they opened. There were like 3 people there. Awesome. I don't like shopping when stores are busy. I get distracted and can't focus on what I'm doing, so when Target is empty, I spend a lot of time looking around. I had a few coupons for items that I wanted to pick up, so in my quest to score a deal, I found this:

This girl was not a happy camper. I don't know about you, but when I'm cruising Target and I see the little red paper hanging off the shelf, I'm like "DEAL!!!!! Gotta check it out!!!!!" Me being all thrifty and such, pulled the piece of paper out of its plastic flappy thing and found the original price to be the same as their "Advertised" price.

Now. Lets get something straight here. This item was in their weekly flier so I'm sure they use this cute little price tag to "remind" you. That's nice and all, but Target uses the same price tag hanging off the shelf for items that have a coupon in this weeks paper. Talk about confusing. I had already put some stuff in my cart that I had a coupon for so I went back to look at the price underneath the "as advertised" tag, and found the price to be the same as what it always is. Aka: no deal. Just .50 cents off tampons. Not the steal of the century.

If you actually understood all of my blabbering just now, good. For those of you who are still confused, here is what I am saying:

Just because there is a flashy red tag hanging from the shelf, DOES NOT mean it is on sale. Check the price underneath the temporary tag before you load your cart up with five body oils because they are "on sale".

Okay. I am done now. :-)